Man Wakes Up From Drinking Session To Find ‘Nonce’ Tattooed On His Forehead

A labourer who passed out after a heavy drinking session at a house in Nassington, Northamptonshire, woke up to find a set of cock and balls and the word “nonce” tattooed on his forehead.

Edward Murray, 34, told the Mirror he had ‘several beers’ (probably an understatement) with his work buddies and conked out for about 4 or 5 hours.

When he woke up, he went and looked in the bathroom mirror and was greeted by this reflection:

It gets even sadder when he explains the story:

I couldn’t understand why I had all this ink on me, on my hands, everywhere.

That’s when I looked in the mirror in the bathroom and I could see my head.

I can’t read or write and I didn’t know what the word said.

But when I came back downstairs, everyone broke out laughing and giggling and calling me ‘nonce’.

Ed immediately left the property and got a taxi back to his home in Peterborough, where he contacted police.

He also managed to cover up the offending tattoo with a skull & cross bones cover-up job, which is an improvement, I guess?

Northamptonshire Police said they are “investigating an incident which involved a man in his 30s being tattooed against his will”:

Two men aged 32 and 28 have both been arrested on suspicion of GBH with intent in connection with the incident and are currently on police bail pending further enquiries.

Well, it takes an absolute c*nt to do something like this so let’s hope justice is served. I mean given that Ed can’t read or write it’s a bit like abusing a mentally disabled person. Which might also go some way to explaining why Ed didn’t just get the tattoo removed instead of covering it with a massive skull and crossbones.

What I don’t get is why they had to tattoo the poor guy instead of just writing it in a marker pen or something, which would have actually made this funny in a way where you don’t feel guilty for laughing. Then again I suppose these lads are too stupid to comprehend the seriousness of what they did, or maybe just too callous to care. Choose your drinking buddies carefully.

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